Author helps girls deal with tough situations
BY TOYNETT HALL
Staff Writer

HOWELL - Two girls walked by each other and one purposely brushed the other. Instead of mayhem or a cat fight ensuing, the injured party simply turned around and told the other person, "I don't like what you're doing. Stop it!"

Female students at Howell Middle School South performed similar scenarios during a seminar given by author Rachel Simmons just prior to the end of the 2006-07 school year.

The seminar was the culmination of yearlong meetings brought to the girls by guidance counselors Teri Bates and Kristen Jones as part of a Howell Township Education Foundation grant, "Improving the Emotional Well-Being of Middle School Girls."

According to Bates, the grant was designed to help middle school girls raise their self-esteem and social skills. The group gathered once a month by grade and assembled as a whole once each marking period.

During the meetings the girls discussed topics such as peer pressure, family issues and bullies, and they also created crafts. According to Bates, the girls needed a culminating experience and Simmons agreed to donate her time and speak about aggression between young women.

Simmons is the author of The New York Times best seller "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls." She said she usually draws from her own experiences when she speaks to girls and women about female aggression.

"I am inspired by my personal experiences with bullying, both as a girl who was bullied and as someone who was mean to other people at times," Simmons said.

Simmons used the genre of theater to show the girls the different tactics they could use during a difficult situation.

This technique "empowers them because when you allow girls to perform their experience of conflict, it gives them a chance to practice and simulate what it would really be like to tell someone to stop mistreating you. And that's probably as close as they're going to get to doing it, rather than the actual experience itself," she said.

Simmons said the more practice the young women have, the better equipped they will be able to handle a situation if one arises.

"Girls need as much practice as possible telling people how they feel face to face because they're just not that good at it. And the more they practice the better they get. Girls need to learn how to manage their conflicts and manage their relationships the way they learn math and science," Simmons said.

Nancy Colson, a mother who was in attendance, said she hoped the seminar gave the girls the tools they need to handle challenging situations and to become more confident. Colson said she wants her daughter and other young women to be able to handle a difficult situation on their own in a proper manner.