Speaker: Good habits can last for a lifetime
Middle school students
listen to talk about
attitudes, setting goals
BY LARRY RAMER
Staff Writer

Lonnie Moore

MARLBORO — People can be volatile and angry, like a bottle of soda that has been shaken vigorously, or calm and cool, like a bottle of water. Most people, however, act like a combination of both.

The analogy was part of a lecture on developing habits that lead to success that was delivered to a group of Marlboro Middle School seventh-graders on Jan. 8 by Lonnie Moore, a former middle and high school teacher who works for a company called Premier.

Premier "helps students succeed through the development of personal, social and organizational skills," according to the company’s Internet site.

Moore, who has worked for Premier since October of 2000, told the students they should adopt several habits that will allow them to lead successful lives.

An enthusiastic, likable speaker who clearly established a connection with the children, Moore said it is better to habitually become cool and collected like the bottle of water

"People handle stress differently. Some are almost always angry," Moore said as he held up a bottle of soda.

"They say, ‘Can you believe this weather? This stinks,’ " Moore imitated in a nasty tone.

In another example, Moore said the angry "soda" people get furious in traffic ("They’re like, ‘Get out of my way!’ " Moore exclaimed), while calm people make sure to leave early so they will be able to remain cool and collected during a traffic jam.

The "soda" people also tend to blame other people for their shortcomings, the presenter explained. Holding up the soda bottle, Moore said, "These people will tell their teachers, ‘I didn’t do my homework because I went to my grandmother’s house and I can’t get any homework done there.’ "

By contrast, the calmer "water bottle" people will just confess that they did not do their homework without making excuses, and apologize.

Moore said he was 95 percent calm and 5 percent angry. He asked the students to decide the percentage that applied to them. Most said they were between 75 and 90 percent calm and collected.

"Here’s how I handle people like this," said Moore, holding up the soda bottle. "I stay away from them. People like this repel [the calm, collected] people. The soda people only hang around with other people like them so they can sit around and complain all the time."

Moore said he likes to be with the calmer people because they are "nice, happy, and fun. They like to have a good time and they don’t want to beat you up. They do their work, get good grades and have fun at the same time. It’s great."

The more volatile people "don’t get good grades and they might want to steal something from you," the presenter added.

People who have both types of characteristics in equal or nearly equal amounts also are not good companions because of their unpredictability, he said.

"My goal is for everybody in the room is to be at least 80 percent" like the bottle of water, Moore told the students.

Moving on to another subject, Moore advised students to adopt the habit of "beginning with the end in mind."

"This is so simple. If you’re going tobuild a house, what is the first thing you do?" Moore asked.

"A blueprint," one student said.

"A blueprint — you plan the house," Moore agreed. "You have to know what the house is going to look like before you start building. But we’re not talking about building buildings, we’re talking about building lives, so you have to start with the end in mind."

Moore told the children that Tiger Woods already wanted to be a professional golfer when he was in the seventh grade. He told the students they have to decide goals for their life.

He told the students one habit they should adopt is to "put first things first."

"That means you will make the choices you need to make every single day to accomplish your goals," the presenter said.

Moore spoke with Ryan Jennings, 12, who said he wants to be an architect. Ryan could become distracted from his goal by various factors, including pres­sure from his family or peers, a love in­terest who does not want him to be an ar­chitect, or drugs, Moore said.

"Has someone who had a big goal sud­denly gotten hooked on drugs? Yes, it happens every day," the presenter told the students.

A young person could try drugs and think he or she will never become ad­dicted, but eventually they will end up being hooked, Moore said. Then, their ca­reer goals fall by the wayside.

"Putting first things first simply means stay on the road," said Moore, adding that his personal planner helps him stay on the right path and is his "steering wheel through life. It helps me plan every day."

"You guys need to use a planner, too, to keep you on the road," the presenter said.

Moore also told the students they should try to "think win-win" in their re­lationships with other people. That is, they should usually seek to solve differ­ences of opinion by compromising so that they and the other person in the relation­ship both feel they are winning. Using a series of one-man short skits, Moore showed students how to solve a dispute using the "win-win" approach.

Several students who were asked for their reaction to Moore’s lecture said they thought it was entertaining and valuable.

"The presentation was good. I learned to believe in myself. [Moore] was funny," Kevin Napoli said.

"I learned how to handle life, like peer pressure," Erica Stern said. "I’m going to try to be a win-win person because it’s the best one and they’re the nice people."

"I learned how to be successful and that it’s important not to be a deadbeat so you don’t ruin your life," Drew Rivera said.

School district spokeswoman Sharon Witchel said teachers would conduct a similar talk with the other students at the Marlboro Middle School. Students at the Marlboro Memorial Middle School are expected to hear the talk at a future date. A group of teachers attended Moore’s pre­sentation so that they can facilitate a similar program in the future, Witchel said.